A Post I Never Thought I’d Write

I killed seriously the biggest spider I have ever seen in my life last night.

Like many people out there I am terrified of spiders. I grew up in a house that backed up to a forest. We had large tree spiders around the whole time I was a kid. One lived outside my window for a while that my family called “Goliath.”

We’ve been cleaning out the garage and luckily I’ve managed to stay spider free. Until last night. I picked up some old burlap coffee bags Russell had gotten years ago in Colorado. We’d been using them as mats on the floor in front of the washing machine. That is until our cat starting using them as a litter box. Time to go. So I gave those a little shake and threw them out. Then I picked up the trash can by the dryer that we use mostly for the lint. It doesn’t get full really fast, or stinky at all so it doesn’t get emptied very often. Well, that’s when I saw him.

The beast.

At first I wasn’t sure if he was alive, or even really a spider. He was surrounded by webs, but was so big I almost didn’t believe it. Now, Russell was on his way home at this point and I could have left the spider for him to deal with, but after I had unearthed him from his hiding place I didn’t trust him to stay out in the open. Our deep freezer was only about two inches away, and the washing machine and dryer were not far either. The fact was, doing nothing and possibly losing track of this spider was more terrifying to me than dealing with it myself. I searched around for any spider killer spray that I could use from a safe distance, but found none. He was on the edge of a little ledge, so trying to hit him with something or step on him was out of the question. I ended up poking around him with the broom enough that he climbed on board. Once on the broom there was no doubt he was alive, and his size startled me even more. I kid you not, he was roughly 2/3 the length of the bristles on the broom. I carried him (as outstretched as possible) to the street before whacking him. Literally.

I took a picture, but it is a little hard to see. On the right there is one of those things that go in men’s dress shirts to straighten the collar. You can use that for size reference. He was about the same size. Also, in the foreground you can see the carcass of some other spider or creature that he killed.

spider 001

Published in: on September 19, 2013 at 1:53 pm  Leave a Comment  
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