The Dump

I recently saw a friend post a link for a website called Dump Starbucks. I clicked it because my husband is very into coffee (he often roasts his own beans at home) and so I was interested what this might be about. What I found was not what I was expecting. It is a website calling for people to “dump Starbucks” because the company has come out in favor of same-sex marriage. I was actually shaking my head as I read what they had to say. I debated whether or not to say anything on my blog about this because I don’t want things to get all political, but I just can’t seem to keep my mouth shut. Or my fingers still!

One line I found particularly upsetting is “Starbucks has declared a culture war on all people of faith…” I will say that I am a Christian and I know what the Bible says about homosexuality. I will also say that I 100% believe ALL people should have the same rights in America, including the right to marry any other person they choose (provided both people are of legal age to make that decision). I do not feel that Starbucks has declared war on me at all.

Here are some questions I have for the Christians out there who are against same-sex marriage:

  • What are you thinking?
  • Do you really think if same-sex marriage is illegal those people will just decide to give up their lifestyle and marry someone from the opposite sex?
  • Are you so naive that you think people will not just choose to continue living together simply because they are not allowed to marry?
  • You believe homosexuality is a sin and that’s why you want it to be illegal. But what about greed, lust, jealousy and lying? How would you feel if your rights were taken away if you did any of those things?
  • Why is this any of your business? If you are against same-sex marriage… don’t marry someone of the same sex. Problem solved. Why have you decided this affects you in some way?

I read a wonderful article a while back regarding my last question. Amy Koch (a Minnesota Senate Majority Leader who campaigned to define marriage as the union between a man and a woman, and who resigned after cheating on her husband and “engaging in a relationship with a Senate staffer”) received a letter of apology from the gay community. Click here for the full article. I thought it was so funny and appropriate. Please enjoy this excerpt from it.

“On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community’s successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage,” reads the letter from John Medeiros. “We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love have cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry.”

Honestly, why do Christians believe allowing gays to marry will destroy their own marriages. Seriously, someone explain to me how that works. But the heart of my whole point is we live in America. Where people are free to believe whatever they choose. God or no God. And why should any American be denied any rights because of what they do or don’t believe and who they choose to love?

Published in: on April 21, 2012 at 7:41 pm  Comments (4)  

Tonight

As I sit here and listen to my children screaming at the top of their lungs from being overtired (thanks to going to bed an hour late last night, trying to wake up at 4:30 this morning and only taking about a one hour nap this afternoon) I am reminded of the teenage girl I met in the doctors office just two days ago. After seeing me and watching Sprout move, she told her mom “I can’t wait to be pregnant.” Oh yes you can! Even as an adult, who was ready and tried for a long time to bring children into this world- parenting is hard. HARD. I can’t imagine the struggles of trying to do this as a teenager, or a single parent for that matter. I don’t know how those people survive. Maybe there should be some kind of school program where kids are made to visit homes of families with young children, so they can see just how exhausting it can be. That it isn’t all squishy cheeks, and smiles and hugs and funny pronunciations of words. That there are endless dirty diapers, tantrums, and time outs. That there are sleepless nights, and all too early mornings. Oh by the way, did I mention I am due with baby #3 any day?  🙂

Published in: on February 22, 2012 at 6:47 pm  Comments (2)  

To Cut, Or Not To Cut

As the weeks of pregnancy begin to wind down, there remain some things to be decided. Not the names, we have those picked out. The nursery has a theme and the car seat has been installed. But one big thing topping our list of things to decide now is whether to circumcise. That is, if we have a boy.

I honestly have no idea where we are going to land on the issue. I know there is no real medical reason to do it, and only about 20% of the men of the world are circumcised, but we do live in that 20% population. On the one hand, I feel like we tend to be more “natural” parents are therefore why mess with something unless it is a problem? Why would we choose to put our baby through a painful and unnecessary procedure? Did you know circumcision is the only surgery in America routinely performed without anesthesia? On the other hand though, I feel like it is a “now or never” type situation. If there does end up being one of those small percentage problems (such as frequent infections and penile cancer) then somewhere down the road it would need to be done. OR he might feel embarrassed about it and choose to have it done later. Both cases make me cringe to think about. And, the procedure becomes more complicated as the child/boy/man ages.

In 1999, the American Academy of Pediatrcis formed a task force on circumcision that decided the procedure shouldn’t be routinely recommended. The task force based this policy on 40 years of studies of both circumcised and uncircumcised boys, and it concluded the following:

  • Problems with the penis, such as irritation, can occur with or without circumcision.
  • With proper care, there is no difference in hygiene.
  • There may or may not be differences in sexual sensation in adult men.
  • There is an increased risk for a UTI in uncircumcised males, especially babies under 1 year. However, the risk for a UTI is still less than 1 percent.
  • Newborn circumcision provides some protection from penile cancer, which only occurs in the foreskin. However, the risk of this cancer is very low in developed countries such as the United States.

If you want to read up a little on the issue click here for a helpful article.

So PLEASE help me out and share your opinions! If you have a son or sons, did you choose to circumcise? Why or why not? Even if you don’t have sons, please share your thoughts on the subject! Women- how would you feel dating or marrying an uncircumcised man? Men- would you be thankful to your parents for taking care of it before you could remember, or feel like something was taken from you without your consent? Would you want a son to have an opportunity to have something you never did, or would you want him to look like you in the shower? All thoughts and opinions are welcomed!

For The Families

With Veteran’s Day just past, I wanted to send out a little message to another group of patriots who sacrifice daily for their country, but are given no day of acknowledgement.

The families.

Especially the wives (or husbands) who stay at home with young children. These people do something that many of us cannot imagine. Last night as I was reading before bed I came across a letter from Abigail Adams to John Adams in 1782, during one of their many long separations. I wanted to share one paragraph with you today.

“I will take praise to myself. I feel it is my due, for having sacrificed so large a portion of my peace and happiness to promote the welfare of my country which I hope for many years to come will reap the benefit, tho it is more than probable unmindfull of the hand that blessed them.”

Please let us all try to remember to honor, pray for, and serve these families who sacrifice something so large for their country.

Published in: on November 15, 2011 at 8:33 am  Leave a Comment  

Someday

Someday I won’t have to help them get dressed.

Someday time-outs will be a thing of the past.

Someday there will not be toys all over the house for me to clean up.

Someday they won’t need my help to fall asleep.

Someday they will give me 5 minutes of peace and quiet to myself.

Someday they won’t pull me around the house by my finger.

 

But for now, I will try and cherish this time. Because…

 

Someday they won’t want my help anymore.

Someday they will have a life of their own.

Someday I will lay in bed awake worrying about them while they are staying out late.

Someday I’ll complain that they don’t call often enough.

Someday I won’t be able to solve their problems with a kiss and a hug.

Someday they will be all grown up.

Published in: on November 11, 2011 at 1:05 pm  Comments (1)  

Untitled Thoughts

This post has been sitting in my drafts folder for too many days now because I didn’t have a title for it. But I didn’t want to let it sit longer, so please excuse my lack of creativity.

If you’re a regular reader you may remember a while ago I wrote a letter to 18 year old me that got me thinking about the past, about life, and about the seemingly insignificant choices we make everyday. I promised a follow up post that never came… until now.

I was reminded of this topic recently after I read a blog written by a father who just lost his three sons. After a high risk, yet uneventful triplet pregnancy, his children were born rather suddenly at only 22 weeks. If you have the strength, read what he wrote about them here and offer up a prayer for them. But be warned- you might need a kleenex or two.

So it has brought me back to a place of contemplation.

Is this fate, or karma? Did this couple lose their boys as punishment for something they did in a past life? Or because they wouldn’t have loved them enough in this one? If you read any of their posts I think you can argue that wouldn’t be it. So what then?

In times like this people will often say “everything happens for a reason.” I wonder… can they really mean everything? Everything is a whole lot of things. That would have to include the clothes we pick out each day, what we watch on TV, yes… even our kids pooping in the tub or other fun parenting surprises, ALL have some higher purpose. And I wonder, can that really be true? But can it be possible the opposite is true? Nothing happens for a reason. We are all just floating around like that feather in Forrest Gump? I think it must be somewhere in between. How then, can we find solace knowing that there is some purpose, and when must we simply accept that no one ever said life would be easy?

Another thing I have heard from time to time it that “It was meant to be.” It seems as though we love to think happy things are always meant to be. Those two people were meant to be together, or that job is perfect for him- it was meant to be, even Russell and I said we always felt like we were meant to have twins. But if good things are meant to be, are bad things as well? I had mentioned back in this post that my friend Robin’s car accident might have been avoided if someone had to go to the bathroom and they left a few minutes later. But maybe that isn’t true. Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference. It’s possible the guy who hit them would have also left later. Maybe they were meant to be in that accident.

And what about God?

“God is in control” people say. But I (brace yourself- I may upset some people here) do not think that is true. I don’t think God is in control. I think God could be in control, but chooses to give us free will instead, and that is both the joy and the curse of it. Similarly I can be here to comfort, support, and guide my children… but I can’t always make them do what I want. (and I have a sneaking suspicion that it will only get worse) And sometimes they get hurt because of that. But that is the way God has designed it.

The truth is, bad things happen. Couples who desperately want a child know the constant heartache of infertility. Parents are forced to grieve the life of a child cut so very short. Jobs that are needed are lost. Homes are lost. And while I don’t have all the any answers as to why, I do know that everything… the good and the bad… is what defines us and shapes who we are.

Published in: on June 27, 2011 at 9:06 am  Comments (4)