Then and Now

One year ago today was one of the most incredible days of my life. I became a Mommy. I won’t say it was the best day ever since I wasn’t able to hold my new babies (or hardly see them) but it was a monumental day. I actually can’t put into words my thoughts this evening, so I will just show you some pictures!

These pictures may not be my favorites of them, but I wanted to show the size difference.

Alyssa birth day

Alyssa one month

Alyssa one year

Kylie birth day

Kylie one month

Kylie one year

Happy Birthday my little angels! I love you and am so proud of you. Look how far you have come!


Published in: on February 9, 2011 at 8:53 pm  Comments (2)  

One Year Ago

Feb. 8, 2010 sucked. There is no way around it. I hated it. I had a doctors appointment, actually I had two appointments that day. One in the morning with my OB and one in the afternoon with my Perinatologist. (This actually was not uncommon in the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I typically saw at least one of those doctors everyday) Anyways, this day was different. This is the day they told me “We have to deliver. Tomorrow.” Ugh…I was crushed.

First of all, I was only 34 weeks along and I knew that the babies born then, while totally viable, would not be big enough, strong enough, or probably healthy enough to come home from the hospital with us. I knew it wasn’t time for them to come out. What they needed was a nice warm belly to stay in for at least a couple more weeks. The problem was that my doctors didn’t think I couldn’t give that to them anymore.  They needed to be born.

Secondly, I was not ready to not be pregnant anymore. This may seem strange to some of you especially since I had measured at a full 40 week belly when I was only 32 weeks pregnant, but I absolutely loved being pregnant. I can’t explain the pure joy I felt carrying around two little lives with me. I was incredibly blessed to have avoided any traces of morning sickness, sciatic pain, heartburn or any of the other main complaints of pregnancy. Those girls were good to me! And despite the two nights that our little Kylie slept with her head under my ribs, for the most part I was pretty comfortable. (thanks to my pregnancy body pillow– every expectant mom needs one!)

I was not happy to hear my babies were coming out. In fact I cried for 45 minutes before I even called Russell to tell him. But I was incredibly excited to finally meet those two little people. I couldn’t wait to find out if they were little boys or little girls. I couldn’t wait to see what and who they looked like. I had no idea how much I would love them. I’m going to leave you with a picture that was actually taken on the morning of their birth, but I want tomorrow’s post to be all about them, so enjoy it tonight. Here is the last picture of my big ol’ twin belly.

Please excuse my fat face too!

Published in: on February 8, 2011 at 8:29 pm  Comments (3)  

Better Late Than Never

Wouldn’t you know it, about a week before I stop pumping (yay!!!) I finally find a website dedicated to moms who exclusively pump for their babies. All this time I had no idea there was a community of other moms making the same choices and sacrifices for their kids as I was making. I would like to pass along the link in case there are any other moms who are passionate about giving their baby the best they can but are struggling with a baby with feeding issues. You are not alone, and it is possible to give your baby breast milk even if you can’t breastfeed. Check them out by clicking here.

Published in: on February 5, 2011 at 9:22 am  Leave a Comment  

30 Day Blog Challenge, Day 30!

Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days.

The past 365 days have surely had their up and their downs. A high-risk pregnancy and bed-rest. The birth of our beautiful, amazing little girls. A heartbreaking NICU stay. The day all four of us were home for the FIRST TIME. The day the girls were dedicated to God. The first smiles. The loss of Russell’s job. The beginning of crawling. Managing to survive on unemployment for months. New friends. The first “Mama” and “Dada”. Russell getting accepted into Ranger Academy. An exhausting move. First steps.

It has been a big year. I can tell you there have been no shortages of tears or loud voices, of smiles or laughter. And plenty of photos to remember it all.

Sleep, on the other hand seems to have gotten neglected these past 365 days…

As for the next year of my life I look forward to many new adventures. Russell’s completion of his program and hopefully an exciting new job for him. Returning to our lives and friends in Las Vegas. It would be nice to start making deposits into our savings account rather than withdrawals. 🙂 Maybe Russell and I will be able to spend a night (or even a weekend- gasp!) away from the girls. I look forward to deepening relationships with the people around us. We might start making some more improvements around our house. Maybe we will have to change the guest room into a room for the girls, and maybe we will begin thinking about bringing a new baby home to occupy the nursery. We will probably have to get another second car (our one now has over 250,000 miles on it!). Maybe we will even get a new puppy!

But most of all I look forward to seeing what the future holds for Kylie and Alyssa. They have changed and grown SO much this past year, I cannot even imagine where they will be a year from now. What will they like, what won’t the like, who will have broken any bones? These are all things I wonder about their future. I do hope they always, always, always feel safe and loved. I want them to never doubt the love Russell and I have for them, or for each other. I hope to be a great example of a woman, a wife, a mother and a human being to my daughters.  I want them to be brave enough to try new things on their own, and humble enough to know when they need help. I want them to be strong and independent and compassionate. I want them to be thankful for what they do have in life, and sympathetic to those who are less fortunate. Maybe it’s a little too ambitious to expect that from two year olds, but the root of it is I want to be the mom that can help my girls be all these things.

So come on, stick it out with us and let’s see what the future has in store for all of us at Twinfinite Fun.

Published in: on February 4, 2011 at 8:30 am  Comments (2)  

30 Day Blog Challenge, Day 29!

A person I love.

No surprise here, the person I love most in the whole world is my wonderful husband.

He loves adventure,

and coffee,

and his puppy.

He is sometimes extra hairy,

and can almost always make me laugh.

He is the father of my children,

my best friend,

my husband.

I love you so much, Russell. Thank you for working so hard for our family… we are ALL proud of you.

Published in: on February 3, 2011 at 8:49 am  Comments (2)  

30 Day Blog Challenge, Day 28!

A place I love.

These are very easy at then end! One of my favorite places in all the world is my family’s cabin in Big Bear, Ca. It is like stepping back in time when you walk in. Literally, most of the furniture, appliances and sometimes even food are more than 30 years old. I am not joking. I once found a package of Jell-Well (jell-o) that expired in 1974.

There is just one bathroom and three bedrooms, although we have been known to cram quite a few people into that little cabin. Every room has more than one bed, and the couches and floor can always accommodate people as well. One room is called “the arctic” because it is around the corner from the only heater and is always cold. There are closets filled with fabulously old winter clothes in about every size imaginable. I can’t wait to take the girls up there and dress them in snow bibs, mittens and anything else we can find.

Thank you to my cousin Krista for providing these pictures!

Published in: on February 2, 2011 at 10:21 am  Comments (1)  

30 Day Blog Challenge, Day 27!

A child I love.

O.k. this one is the easiest ever. There is no child I love more than my two little girls.

Here is our first picture together. Kylie Paige on the left and Alyssa Grace on the right… well, that’s me on the far right.

Published in: on February 1, 2011 at 7:34 am  Comments (1)