Where’s MY Martini?

Yesterday a strange sequence of events lead to me listening to an hour long sermon on the Song of Songs (Song of Solomon) during the girls nap time. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it is a book of the Bible that focuses on the courtship of two lovers and them consummating that love. Anyways… that is not exactly where I am going today. The pastor giving the sermon was talking about what we learn about what marriages should look like based on this book. Basically he said it was the husband’s job to protect and provide for his wife, along with constantly telling her how beautiful she is and how much he adores her. That sounds o.k. right?

Then things started to turn a bit.

He began talking about how since the husband goes to work all day, when he gets home the wife should greet him at the door, escort him to his comfy chair and have his favorite food there waiting for him.


He said specifically women should not trouble their husbands with matters of the children and should simply be their husband’s place of refuge. This feels a little too much like ‘Leave it to Beaver’ to me.  The man quietly enjoying a nice martini in his study (or more commonly a couple of beers in his “Man Room”) credits work outside the home as more important or difficult as raising the children.

I recently read a blog post from a dad of twins who had a great perspective on the father’s role in the family, and specifically addressed the issue of him working. Here is some of what he had to say:

I hear the excuse “I work all day”. Well, so does my wife. I sit in a comfy chair pounding on a keyboard and chatting on a phone. She’s on her feet sprinting after two banshees headed in opposite directions. I get a lunch break every day. She spends their nap time (the only quiet moments in our house) counseling the dog for the atrocities inflicted on her – side note, I have the most patient and understanding dog in the world. When I come home it shouldn’t be a break for me, it should be a break for her. It should relieve her pressure, not add to it. Sometimes it seems the husbands are more spoiled than the kids (just ask them to not watch football all day Sunday and then you’ll see a real tantrum).

{You can check out more from this enlightened dad by checking out his blog here}

Luckily, my husband was equally as annoyed about this pastor’s view as I was, maybe even more. Russell does not see it as a chore to come home and be with the girls, it is a privilege.  As soon as he has a chance to change (and sometimes eat) he is down on the floor playing blocks, reading books, breaking up fights or tossing the girls in the air. He helps out with bath time and putting the girls to bed. He gets up in the middle of the night when there is a dispute over which snuggle bear belongs to who. On the nights his schedule keep him away until after bedtime he misses them so much. He is not simply their father, he is their Daddy.

Although, if it had been commonly accepted for the wife to get an hour to herself with a nice cup of tea, glass or wine, or (insert favorite relaxing beverage here) every night when the husband got home, I think we might be trying to cling to that idea as long as possible too…

Maybe that is the wave of the future!

Published in: on February 17, 2011 at 9:16 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Nina, this is a really great post! And that Dad’s blog you quoted is so amazing…gotta love good men, right!?!

  2. Great post, Anina! I always enjoy reading Kyle’s blog posts. He’s an inspirational father. 🙂

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